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The best possible place for you to be today

You’re not late to the party!

You might think you’re the only one without a plan for the new year, all shiny and completely realized. You’re not. In fact, you’re in very good company.

As per my usual my creative, optimistic flights of fancy, I imagined doing a TON of stuff while I took some time off over the holidays – plan my year with collages and calendars, scrub the whole house clean, paint the bathroom, make all my Christmas presents by hand, and change the world. You know, the usual over-the-top but well intentioned optimism.

In my 12 days off, I didn’t do nearly that much. I journaled. I got the house cleaner than it’s been in months. With Inspired Spouse’s help, we made truffles to give away as gifts. But did I makeover my whole home, plan the whole year, and save the world? Not on your life.

It’s too soon to have a plan (for all kinds of good reasons)

If you had kids at home over the break or family visits/staying with you or a case of the winter blues, you might feel pretty tapped out right now. After the merry-but-exhausting holidays, January can greet you feeling depleted, feeling bewildered, and feeling downright behind.

I just want you to know, even the experts don’t have the year all figured out. And neither should you.

So here’s a gentle, welcome to 2013 message from my heart to yours:

You’re not behind on your new year planning
You’re not behind
and you’re not going to get left behind.
You’re exactly where you need to be on January 1, 2013.
Really.

You don’t have to have a plan today.
You don’t need to know where you’re going.
If you do have a glimmer or some ideas – fabulous.
If you know you just need some downtime to recover – that’s a blessed insight.
So –
take a deep breath
and entertain the idea that this month is for resting
refilling, nourishing, and contemplating.
January: the best month of the whole year to reflect on the past, on the year coming
and discover
and dream.
If you dare, take long naps,
doodle in your journal
and witness who you are right now, today.
Consider what led you here
and where you might want to go.
Be curious and just let the ideas percolate.

The best possible place for you to be today is right where you are.

And if you just can’t sit still?

If you read all this and still feel antsy and want to put your focus somewhere, here’s a practical step: clear out stuff. If there’s anything in your space (bedroom, office, bathroom, etc.) that feels dusty or sticky or dead, start clearing it out.

Whether you use a dust rag, a broom, or a huge recycle bin, clearing your stuff gives you energy. You feel physically lighter and unburdened. Maybe that’s how you’d like to feel right now.

The other thing is that clearing stuff makes room for clarity. Clarity is a tremendous gift to yourself at the beginning of the year. It makes space for what you do want to come in and lets the Divine know that you’re open for its subtle movement in your life.

So, if you can’t sit still, then clear stuff. And then stand back and notice the space you’ve created.

Cultivate peace

Above all, remember that you’re just in the right place in your life right now. There’s just nowhere else for you to be, so don’t fight it. You will have insights about the coming year, but there’s no need to force them. Take your time this month. Fill yourself back up again. Find peace.

Happy new year!

Love,
Jen

COLD AND DANGEROUS -

http://dlvr.it/2fs8NZ

On sickness, sacrifice and where I’ve been lately

On sickness, sacrifice and where I’ve been lately

DEC 18

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“Just hold still,” the nurse said impatiently as she attempted to swab the back of my throat. My head was cocked at a strange angle, making the whole procedure rather difficult.

“But I don’t have—uurgh. Fine.”

It was December 1999, and I was sitting in the infirmary at my tiny college. The infirmary had exactly two remedies for any situation: a strep test, and a referral to the town doctor’s office for a mono test. Unfortunately, I’d walked in the door with neither ailment: My head was cocked to the side because I couldn’t straighten it. The muscles in my neck had gotten so knotted from tension they wouldn’t move.

Since I was young and without transportation or insurance, I went through all of exam week like that, writing and showering and sleeping with my head cocked to the side. A friend finally lent me her heating pad and with its help I was able to massage my neck muscles out of their cramp.

That was my first encounter with stress-related injuries.

The next year, I caught the flu the day before exams. In both semesters.

In my third year, I had my first desktop computer and was inordinately proud of it. (My roommate, who had to share the phone line with my dialup Internet, was not as impressed.) Due to the way our dorm room was configured, I spent that year sitting on the bed with the computer keyboard on my lap and the mouse on a mousepad next to me on the bed. And gave myself a repetitive strain injury that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

It seems that I have the exact combination of factors needed for stress-related injuries and illnesses: a not-particularly-robust immune system, muscles that tighten immensely under strain, and a workaholic, high-intensity, overachiever personality.

When I was younger, I shrugged it off. A little flu or chronic pain never hurt anyone, right? At a little over 30, though, my body is simply letting me know that it’s done. Sure, I could continue to juggle a full-time job and two time-consuming hobbies and a family and pets and et cetera forever, but increasingly I’m not willing to pay the price in pain, physical and mental.

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Which brings us back to why I disappeared a few months ago. I developed anotherchronic, painful muscle injury and started getting sick again. I had strep throat for the first time since childhood and was sick for most of September and October. At this moment, I have the type of cold I only catch when I’m super stressed out.

Cutting back is hard. Our culture values the workaholic. Even at my relatively casual and progressive day-job office, working way over 40 hours simply so you’re not see as the office slacker holds strong.

This is particularly prevalent in the small business resources available online these days. Can’t find your audience? Well, you should be using Twitter and Facebookand a blog and a newsletter and and and. If that’s not working, then there are expensive blogging courses that promise to solve all your problems, as long as you’re willing to dedicate four hours a day to blogging. And so on. It’s a vicious cycle and it becomes so easy for you to blame yourself if you can’t squeeze out yet another ten minutes a day for yet another social media channel or blog technique or whatever. It’s so easy to lose sight of why you’re there.

I’m here because what I have to say about body image and weight and health is important. But it’s not more important than my own mental and physical health. And now that I’m not 21 any more, I’m discovering that packing every single minute full of activity isn’t as satisfying as it used to be. It’s nice to be able to read a book, or take a walk, and not stress over the fact that I haven’t written a blog post yet this week, or retweeted my latest post the prescribed three times at peak traffic hours. Beyond being nice, it’s increasingly necessary; my body just won’t let me overachieve while sacrificing it any more.

I’m not saying goodbye, not closing up the blog or the From Lindley, with Love jewelry lines. But I am accepting my limits and scaling back. The shop will likely move solely to Etsy. I love my current e-commerce site, but it’s expensive to maintain in both money and time. The blog may actually see more posts from me soon, since I’m more likely to post when I don’t feel the pressure to “do” every social media site in existence along with it.

Some days, scaling back feels like defeat. But increasingly, it feels like relief, the realization that I don’t have to work through pain and stress to feel productive or valuable. May we all, individually and as a society, reach that conclusion and find peace with it.

A $6 Solution to Taking Pictures of Jewelry the way it looks, or you may not. If you prefer the silver to have even tones make sure that the card is flashed against the window. However, if you do want your background to have a gradation of tones try replacing the white card with a black one. Blocking the light will create a shadow with a clear edge. Then you can play placing your jewelry where the background shifts from light to dark to see what happens. (via Viau Photography | A $6 Solution to Taking Pictures of Jewelry)

A $6 Solution to Taking Pictures of Jewelry the way it looks, or you may not. If you prefer the silver to have even tones make sure that the card is flashed against the window. However, if you do want your background to have a gradation of tones try replacing the white card with a black one. Blocking the light will create a shadow with a clear edge. Then you can play placing your jewelry where the background shifts from light to dark to see what happens. (via Viau Photography | A $6 Solution to Taking Pictures of Jewelry)

Jewelry Photography Set-Up Tips - The Beading Gem's Journal

It’s a little comforting to know jewelry photography or macro photography, often of shiny and reflective metals, is challenging even for professionals.

hawkandhandsaw-az: Fuck Yeah Feminist Thor. 

hawkandhandsaw-az:

Fuck Yeah Feminist Thor. 

(via elliottmason)

Aw! elliottmason: So so awesome and true! Also, ninjas.

Aw!

elliottmason:

So so awesome and true! Also, ninjas.

(via acarback)

[Video] Inventory Your Stories | The Headologist

Check your stories. When you’re doing this whole cleaning thing, inventory the stories that are inside of you, that came from you, that came from other people. Figure out whether they’re helpful or not, whether they’re pointing you in the direction you want to go or not. If so, rock those stories; if they’re not, excavate them, clean them out, declutter the stories that you’re holding and living from and living on.

WordPress Plugin: RPS Image Gallery If you are looking to add function to the built in gallery feature in WordPress.org, this plugin does just that. Discovered by one of my students, she found it fairly easy to use as a newbie and added it to her site here. (via RPS Image Gallery | Be Inspired Design)

WordPress Plugin: RPS Image Gallery

If you are looking to add function to the built in gallery feature in WordPress.org, this plugin does just that. Discovered by one of my students, she found it fairly easy to use as a newbie and added it to her site here. (via RPS Image Gallery | Be Inspired Design)

Geek Relationship Fallacies « CaptainAwkward.com

Commander Logic here.

I have been a geek and loved geeks since I began having relationships outside my family, and I have to say that The 5 Geek Social Fallacies rang true to me in that particular self-recognition-wince way. And Holly’s 5 Geek Sexual Fallacies were helpful too! DUDE, SO HELPFUL.

But I feel like there’s still room for one more Geek Fallacy list, and this is one for Geek Relationships. Have we gotten past the “Geeks are unloveable losers” trope yet? Geeks have relationships and the particular pitfalls for my logical, overthinking ilk deserve mention.

Free e-workbook, Putting the Fun in Functional: 3 Steps to an Office You’ll Love. (via Get My Newsletter — Inspired Home Office)

Free e-workbook, Putting the Fun in Functional: 3 Steps to an Office You’ll Love. (via Get My Newsletter — Inspired Home Office)

Inventory Management: How to Avoid Common Pitfalls and Prepare Your Business for Success | Stitch Labs Blog

Anyone who has had an inventory-based business can attest: It can be a real pain.

First you have to decide what to make or order; how many of each, what colors, etc. Granted, that can be the fun part, but given that it’s an investment of time and money for materials, you can’t make those initial production decisions lightly.

Once you have inventory in stock, and start selling it through one or multiple channels (your own website, Etsy, wholesale, street fairs), it can quickly get disorganized, and that’s where it’s crucial that you have your inventory and financial systems in place.

Major Givers Are More Likely to Get White House Access An analysis based on matching names of White House visitors with names of Democratic donors indicates that those who gave more were more likely to visit or have meetings at the White House. (via Major Givers Are More Likely to Get White House Access - Graphic - NYTimes.com)

Major Givers Are More Likely to Get White House Access

An analysis based on matching names of White House visitors with names of Democratic donors indicates that those who gave more were more likely to visit or have meetings at the White House.

(via Major Givers Are More Likely to Get White House Access - Graphic - NYTimes.com)

Four Steps to Becoming a Professional Speaker | Happy Black Woman | Helping Women Design Their Ideal Lives

Yesterday on the Happy Black Woman Facebook community, someone asked me where I find my speaking engagements. (Speaking at conferences is a low-volume, high-price service that makes up the bulk of my income most months.) My response was that they find me! I’ve been speaking professionally since 2008 (when I got my first paid gig) and most of my clients just come to me through the various marketing channels I’ve cultivated over the years. Now I know that generic answer is not very helpful to you if you want to start getting paid as a speaker, so I’ll break down a few of the steps I think are important to the process.